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see you later, hope_dog

Today, kijjohnson had to have hope_dog put to sleep. She was a good dog most of the time... except when she was confused and scared, which was happening more and more lately - hence the decision. Hope was the sweetest dog ever, well-loved by many people, even sanju_devil_cat, who could never get her attention no matter how hard she tried.

I find little strands of Hope almost every day even though she hasn't lived here for nearly a year. When we first got her, Hope used to go running beside me as I rode my bicycle; as she got older, she didn't like that so much any more, and over time she pretty much settled down to slow walks sniffing everything along the way. She was a collie-dog - not a small animal - but she loved to sleep in the bed. This was not convenient, but she was so sweet that we bought a king-sized bed just so she could continue to sleep with us... and so we could fall asleep even while she hogged the bed.

Kij was such a wonderful doggie-mom. Thank you, Kij, for taking care of our girl as a single mom, for letting her play at the dog-lounge so often, and for doing the right thing for Hope even though it is such a hard, hard thing to decide.

We talked about this several times over the last few days, and I felt comfortable with the decision to let Hope go. She had reached a place in her life when her phobias and other anxieties seem to have started really taking over her mind, causing her to have big problems even without outside causes (like thunderstorms). When I heard how easily she went, I felt relieved, not sad. Only now, when I'm alone after friends have left the house, am I finally feeling that she is gone, and I'm so suddenly sad. Why is this? I haven't seen her for more than a few days since last year, but she's always been my doggie, too, I guess, and a hope_dog still in the world meant that she was still in my life, I guess.

Hope got her name from the people at the Lawrence Humane Society shelter, because she was already an old dog when we got her, scraggly and with bad teeth, and they hoped someone would adopt her before she had to be put down. I hope she's having fun playing in fields with no more pain and no more fears and all the baked chicken she can fit into her belly.

Anyway. Message to the universe: No more taking away our little furry companions for a while, okay?

Best,
Chris

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Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
acommonreader
Jun. 11th, 2006 10:00 am (UTC)
Thank you for loving as you do. This is important, and you recognize that without anyone telling you so, I suspect. (And that is important.)

Doing the right thing oft involves bravery (it oft seems it must), and you and Kij were brave in doing something ultimately good for Hopedog.
starstraf
Jun. 11th, 2006 01:07 pm (UTC)
you two gave Hope some very happy years, and were able to make the right decision when the time came. hugs
next_bold_move
Jun. 11th, 2006 01:13 pm (UTC)
You gave her good years while you had her, even knowing that you wouldn't keep her for as long as you would like.

It was the right decision, and though you'll probably never not be a little sad about it, eventually sweet memories overtake the sad ones.
tantra_cat
Jun. 11th, 2006 01:55 pm (UTC)
This is always a terrible decision. I hope your heart heals soon...
bellanorth
Jun. 11th, 2006 02:44 pm (UTC)
Such sad news, Hope was the sweetest dog. Sympathies to you.
roseconnelly
Jun. 11th, 2006 04:04 pm (UTC)
scraggly and with bad teeth

You would have never known it. You two took such good care of her. She was a beautiful dog--a reflection from all the love she received.

scarlettina
Jun. 11th, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC)
I was so sorry to read about Hope. She had good doggie parents, though, and the best life they could give her. I suspect she's frolicking in those fields, and bragging to her new friends about having had the best humans ever.

You're all in my thoughts this morning.
kijjohnson
Jun. 11th, 2006 05:52 pm (UTC)
It's sad not having her, but it was worth it, anyway. She's still in your life. Memories are strong.
jeanineers
Jun. 12th, 2006 03:06 am (UTC)
Hope was a very good dog and we loved being her "uncle scott and aunt jeneen". She was a delightful house guest and was very loving. We feel fortunate that she was part of our lives and we are glad that we could be present at her passing. She went very peacefully and chock full of dog cookies.
arian1
Jun. 12th, 2006 03:40 am (UTC)
*sigh* :(
astartes_girdle
Jun. 13th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
Awww, I had to read backwards to see this. I'm very sorry. I got to meet Hope a couple of times in Seattle. She was gentle and sweet and I quite liked her. My condolences and many big hugs.
blzblack
Jun. 14th, 2006 11:37 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear. I loved Hope.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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