October 7th, 2005

H2

I hate SUVs. Again.

There are so many reasons to hate SUVs, and even many who own one feel some guilt or whatever, too, I'm sure.

I Hate SUVs Part One

The only time I was ever in a collision on a motorcycle was in Seattle: approaching intersection, no stop sign for me, Kuwaiti college kid racing to class blows through his stop sign, I veer as hard as I can at about 30mph, whammo! he rams the bike broadside (luckily I lifted my leg out of the way of his bumper), bike goes down, I go over the side.

Long story short: He left the scene to go take his test (really) with a promise that daddy would cover any and all of my expenses, which daddy did (after faxing receipts to him).

I Hate SUVs Part Two

Today, on my way from the Post Office to my office, I'm crossing one of the one-way streets in town. On my little scooter. Sunny day, cold, clear. I got to the stop sign (for the cross street; the main drag has only a few lights over a mile stretch) just after another car, it goes first, then I go. Traffic goes left-to-right from my pov, so the car left-turns in front of me. Fine, normal stuff.

I'm just about to the other side of the street and the ditz-college-girl-blondie-with-cell-phone-jammed-in-her-ear-goddammit kid in a big fuckin' SUV lauches at me, doing a left turn directly at me. Visions of Kuwaiti kid in Seattle. I lay on the horn while veering toward the sidewalk and hammering the brakes - because I'm now just about up to full speed, having gone a good 40 feet before the ditz-college-girl-blondie-with-cell-phone-jammed-in-her-ear-goddammit kid in a big fuckin' SUV took off at me. One foot goes to pavement to help push the scooter off its path - I learned motorcycling on a dirt bike, in the dirt, where you need to put down a foot to turn hard. It's way less comfortable on the ankle, knee, hip, and lower back when you jam your boot onto pavement.

Just as I prepare for low-speed collision, she sees me and hits her brakes. Note that she's now stopped half-way into the main road, I'm just about to the sidewalk, clenching the hand-grips and brakes for dear life while prepping for going airborn. She makes a "sorry!" face and brings her shoulders up around her ears - oh, and the cell phone presumably fell to the floor as both her hands hit the steering wheel. I'm halfway down the block before she starts to move, blocking traffic she's so freaked out. I'm also, um, sorta saying naughty words, too. The rest of the way to my office, I was planning how to submit legislation outlawing students driving SUVs. Heck, let's just outlaw them for in-town use in general.

Those of you on two wheels: Ride safe, they're out to get us.

Best,
Chris
just Chris

the "[your name here] needs" meme

This confounded me at first, then I figured out and it's hilarious. Instructions:

To Create a Google "Needs" Meme:
1) Enter "[your name here] needs" in a Google search.
2) Read through the link descriptions, looking for those that actually form a sentence.
3) Post the first 15.
4) Enjoy!

Collapse )I love some of these!

Chris