I'm having a hard time with this. Until a few minutes ago, she was sitting on my lap, and she seems so lovey and cuddly, even though she can't use her back legs very well and she can't control her waste very well, and the diabetes and rare muscle-degenration disease and all that. Especially her loss of interest in "kitty TV," the congregation of birds and squirrels on the back porch, gobbling seeds and whatnot.
Even so, because Fetish can still be so lovey, it's hard to think about her not being alive anymore in two hours.
Since Lydia made the decision to euthenize Fetish last week, we've been giving her as much attention as we can. Reading with her on our laps, watching shows with her on my lap, especially when I get home late from teaching in Kansas City; helping her up and down the stairs when she wants to explore; giving her as much food as she wants, even people food, because - what, it's going to kill her? When one of us is home, we're also letting her roam freely about the house, though keeping a keen eye on her because of her incontinence. Right now she's napping in the cupboard under the upstairs bathroom sink; I rearranged in there and put down a fluffy towel. Soon she'll want to be carried back downstairs for another meal, I'm sure.
I'm just so blue about this! She's not even my cat, and I've only known her for 8 years, lived with her for fewer still. But except for my beloved Helen, I've never met such a lovey cat as Fetish.
It's going to be so strange without her here. The house will feel so empty without her affectionate presence.
Lydia's coming home now, and the vet will be here in an hour or so. My heart is heavy.
Edit: She's had her acepromazine tablet to relax her for the vet's visit, and it seems to have also relieved some of her pain. She's stretching out longer than she has in a while, even wagging a bit.